Some chocolate is in order.
I’ve come to realize that I am a lousy friend. Or a lazy one. When a friend hits rocky patches, I’ve done the usual-–”Call me if there is anything I can do.” Seriously. I meant well. I meant I’m available to help. I just never realized what a terrible thing this is to do to a friend. It puts the entire onus on her who is already struggling, just trying to get up every day.
And this is particularly double edged within my circle. I like, respect, and admire people who are strong, funny, and independent. The very people to whom–asking for help–comes the hardest. I’ve learned that someone can have PMS, be a big jerk, and expect forgiveness. This same person will not forgive a sick person who snaps at her one day, somehow expecting…what exactly? She will blame a sick person for not having an entire skill set for expressing need…as if this is something we are taught…as though our strong and funny friends suddenly learn how to lean when handed a crushing diagnosis?
I haven’t been an entire failure at this endeavor and have called while at the park to see if she needs some little thing. I tried to bring her a funny comic ‘cuz life isn’t all serious all the time. I tried to talk to her about my own life-–good and bad-–so she doesn’t feel isolated. I have to admit that all my words were awkward and potentially useless, but, that they came from my heart. All of which seemed at the time like little piddly things. Only now do I see that it’s the little things that make the difference between acquaintance and friendship. It’s not the size of the actions. It’s the intention of the thought.
Perhaps, lousy and lazy aren’t what I have been. Perhaps, ignorance is the real word I am after. After all, life is about learning.
Life is never easy to see. It’s all shade of grey…with everything in between. If only the grey would turn black or white (like the Piano sock.) But, if they did, they only fade back to grey…
Happy crafting and keep those creative juices running!
(still doesn’t do texting, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon, DiggIt…)